New Year, New Decade

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Okay, so last year, one of the worst years – ugliest decades - in memory, at this time I was crossing the South Pacific on board a luxury cruise ship on a shoot, soon to arrive in the Marqueses, Tahiti, Moorea, and Bora Bora? (While airplanes were falling out of the sky, landing smoothly in the Hudson River?) And I would leave again in February to sail the Atlantic coast of South America from Fortaleza to Salvador de Bahia to Rio to Buenos Aires? All destinations on my “must see before I die” list?

And this year, I’ve nothing quite so exotic and appealing on the horizon? Other than the usual, no solidly booked projects, in fact; nothing major to brag about, nothing to hang my hat on? What if I’m kind of adrift in a sea of uncertainty, out of sight of land, with no lifesaver within reach? Scary situation for a freelancer. Or maybe a fabulous opportunity.

Hmm. Where does this sense of calm and at peace come from? Is it

1. insanity, as defined as the lack of reason or good sense; the denial of reality?

2. magical thinking a la The Secret, as in everything will work perfectly if I just hope and wish and pray and visualize?

3. faith, or knowing, or satori?

I choose 3. With the death of Nanny, my beloved 99-year-old grandmother, the final days of 2009 felt like a real ending. We buried Nanny on Dec. 31st, New Year’s Eve. A fitting funeral, full of love and memories and praise and humor. The cemetery, silent, monochromatic but sublimely beautiful under a blanket of snow, shades of white and gray interrupted only by the rainbow of flowers framing the gravesite.

It felt like a sad good-bye, yet a grand celebration of what was. When I returned home to NYC, I saw my messy apartment in a whole new light. I could no longer tolerate so much of the stuff collecting dust and taking up space. It needed to go. So I started the new decade feverishly cleaning out closets, emptying drawers, rearranging shelves. Throwing away what was no longer of use to me, giving away what might be of use to someone else. Tossing out what no longer served, including the energy – emotions, memories – contained within the physical. All the rediscovering treasured but long-forgotten items and photos, reconnecting with their significance and handling them with the reverence they deserve.

2010 so far hasn’t been about “out with the old, in with the new” but rather a letting go of the useless clutter, the unresourceful, the habitual, that which no longer serves. A clearing away to create space for what’s next, while remembering and appreciating again the significant, the meaningful, the sublime from the past.

I’ll never look at housework the same again.

Okay, so now the apartment is clean and ready to receive the new decade – bring it on!

But what about Haiti????? To be continued ...

© 2010 Theresa Quadrozzi - A Muse In Manhattan

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