Enduring ...

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February. Over 1/12 of 2010 already gone.

Now that I’m officially a blogger and may blog at my whim, now that I’ve embraced this international electronic platform, allowing me to share thoughts and express opinions and hear comments, I’m finding myself at a loss for words …

Like so many new years, this one opened with such hope and promise. Despite some residual gunk seeping over from years past, this seemed end of the decussis horribilis, an entryway into a brave new world where anything’s possible. Then the alcohol wore off and the hangover haze cleared, and lo and behold the dirty dishes piled in the sink still need to be cleaned and put away. In fact, after that brief holiday respite, new horrors (catastrophic earthquakes) have been shoveled atop the pile of old crap (near depressions, renewed nuclear threat, the end of the democratic process as we knew it, so many corners of the world at or at the brink of war, etc.), and it might not seem like such a happy new year after all …

… and then we have our own trials and tribulations, the series of anticipated and surprise stumbling blocks thrown into our path on a day-to-day basis. The difficult people, rocky relationships, job uncertainty, snowstorms, colds and flu, sick parents and children – just getting out of bed on a cold morning is a struggle – waiting for us as soon as we open our eyes. How do we face the enormity, the overwhelm of the world’s woes when we have our own personal patch of heaven or hell-on-earth to deal with every hour of every day?

I’ve recently been thrown a curve ball of rather epic proportions. Yes, a matter of life and death. Frightening, heartbreaking. Which has set one of my staunchly-held belief systems – focusing one’s energy and attention and actions on creating the ideal future while letting go of the outcome - into a bit of a tailspin. I’m in a crisis of faith. A strange mix of rage, helplessness and what-the-fuck?!? So my next few blogs will most likely be looking for guidance re How To Endure. When it all seems like too much. When things look bleak and hope begins to fade. ‘Cause I have no idea how to navigate through this latest shitstorm …

... and Valentine's Day is this weekend. Oh, joy.

© 2010 Theresa Quadrozzi - A Muse In Manhattan

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